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  • Temara Willis

Benefits of a growth mindset throughout mediation

For mediation to be successful, you need to participate with an open mind. Sometimes this isn't easy; however, attending with a fixed mindset will usually mean you leave with not much more than what you arrive with - remaining stuck.


Mediation is voluntary. You have sacrificed your time and money to attend. So, of course, you want to get something out of the process, even better - a resolution. So how do you ensure you have a growth mindset during mediation for the best success?


Let's start by identifying the behaviours that I usually come across to differentiate those with a fixed or growth mindset.


A fixed mindset.


People with a fixed mindset will;

  • Make comments like "this isn't going to work" or "this is a waste of my time".

  • Make grand statements like "take me to court then" or "if you don't agree to this, then I am not prepared to talk about anything else".

  • Care more about appearance and feel that coming to mediation means you are a failure.

  • Use 'always and never' statements constantly.

  • Think that if they don't get exactly what they want, the other person has won.

  • Fail to listen, believing that they have heard it all before - been there, done that.

A growth mindset


People with a growth mindset will

  • See problems as an opportunity to learn and a chance to move forward.

  • Ask how we can work together to get the right outcome?

  • Be proud when compromising, and view it as a positive response.

  • Listen to the other person, their needs and wants and respond productively.

  • Look for ways to remove barriers instead of adding roadblocks.


Mediation is your opportunity to grow. It is your chance to see things differently and change or amend your perceptions of something. Having a growth mindset doesn't mean you won't feel uncomfortable or anxious about the process, but you will see it as an opportunity no a hindrance. You value the chance to learn something new about yourself or the other person. You are left open to improvement and progress.


Having a fixed mindset means that you think mediation won't be successful or add any value as the situation is unchangeable, ultimately undermining your success.


So how do you ensure a growth mindset during mediation?

  • Embrace imperfections. It's okay to be vulnerable.

  • Focus on your progress and not the setbacks.

  • Replace the word failure with not yet.

  • Train yourself on how to ask open questions.

  • Keep trying, don't give up after the first time.

  • Focus on who you want to be and what outcome you are hoping to achieve.

  • Be proud that you are taking part in mediation and hopeful for the future.

  • Actively listen.

  • Remind yourself that a different result doesn't necessarily mean worse.

Do you have growth mindset examples of your own? Please share them with us in the chat! Once you shift your thinking and attend mediation with a growth mindset, you will be amazed at how successful the mediation process can be.

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